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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

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Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|